Matt & Sasha's Excellent Thanksgiving Adventure

In early October we decided as a family that we would spend Thanksgiving with Great Grandpa & Grandma Bauer at their farm in Durand, WI. This turned out to be a great decision. I knew even before we discussed going to WI for Thanksgiving I wanted Sasha not to just have met Great Grandpa and Grandma but to know them (as well as her extended family). So we decided to caravan up to WI and have a great adventure.

This was Sasha's real first road trip, at least in the US (she had a 3 hr road trip in Russia from Armavir to Krasnodar). We never had ventured far away from Sasha's new home since we arrived back in May. I really didn't know how well she would travel. Typically the trip takes about 12 hours (including stops for gas and food). The weather was not too bad for the first 6 hours or so- cool and drizzly. We made great time all the way north to Des Moines, Iowa. North of Des Moines things changed as there was ice/snow on I-35 all the way to Durand which slowed our pace greatly. The trip took 16 hours and Sasha did great! Nothing an Ipad full of Sesame Street and Curious George can't help pass the time, throw in a few dum-dum pops on top of that and you had a really content little girl.

What a fun time we had in WI as a family. Sasha met lots of family. She like everyone she met though it took her most of the weekend to warm up to Great Grandpa as he accidentally scared her on the first night. Nothing a little ice cream and playing tea couldn't fix. We played in what little snow there was. We sledded and road motorcycles, played with our cousins, ate, slept and had a great old time.

This was the first big holiday that we had since Jenny passed away. None of us knew what to expect, but with lots of prayer and family talking time we made it through stronger and with some much needed healing taking place. The week before and the week after were the worse times for me, but the actual week of Thanksgiving, though I missed Jenny greatly (I even caught a glimpse out of the corner of my eye of a cousin sitting in a chair and her profile looked just like Jenny which took me back for a second), was very enjoyable. It was a good first holiday for our family. Sasha made lots of memories and had a great time bonding with her Papa.

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If Two is Company Then Eight is Just Plain Fun

Over the halloween weekend my brother Rob and his family came to visit us from Reno. He and his wife Amy have four kids came for a long weekend in Wichita. The last time they were here in July of 2001 it was 100+ with high humidity. This time it was actually pleasant for most of the weekend. This was the first time Sasha Met Amy, Jeff, Kayla, Nathan, and Samantha. She had met Rob when he came out for the service in September. With their six and our two, well...we will just say it is a full house and a very fun time.

We had a great weekend together. All the kids enjoyed playing and getting to know each other. We went to the zoo and had a family dinner at Zach and Michelle's. Our gang along with the Zimmermans went to Chuck E Cheese to "celebrate" halloween. Neither of our families trick-or-treat and really don't care for the the day. Going to Chuck E Cheese gives our families an alternative. The last time I went to Chuck E Cheese was the day I proposed top Jenny (no I did not propose to her there...). We took the Nephews and Nieces on my side of the family there for lunch before heading up to the Mt. Shasta where I proposed to her.

One of the things I find the hardest to deal with is the fact that everywhere I turn, everything I do I think of Jenny and the memories we had together. We shared everything together, even Chuck E Cheese... I am so thankful we had a great marriage and great time together with lots of fun memories, but that too is a double edged sword. One I am willing to deal with, and by far beats the alternative.

A New Normal

A lot has happened since Jenny's last blog post in August. After we lost Jenny I did not know if I would be able to keep the blog up to date. The more I have thought about it, the more I believe this blog is very important not only to Sasha, but to those who have followed us as we walked our adoption journey. This journey was more about our family being obedient to God's calling on our life than it was to bring a child to our family. When Jenny passed away, that journey didn't end. Sure, Sasha is 100% a Carr and that chapter of this book has been written, however there are more chapters to write. We are still called daily to be obedient to the calling God has on our lives; it is now just easier for Jenny.

I have always viewed this blog as a way to share with those interested where we were in the process of bringing home the child God had picked out for us. As I re-read many of Jenny's posts, it is apparent that the goal in Jenny's writing was to document and proclaim the faithfulness of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ not only for those who happened to read the blog but also for Sasha. During our adoption process, God moved many mountains, won major victories against insurmountable enemies, and parted many Red Seas (most of which were filled with red tape). It was those victories my family and myself clung to with all our hearts as reminders of God's faithfulness as we started the long, dark and painful walk of life without Jenny. Why did Jenny have to leave us so soon? We may never fully know, but one thing I am sure of is that God is still good and He is still faithful and worthy of praise.

As I go forward, I will do my best to keep the blog posts coming. For Sasha has already had many firsts since Jenny's passing. I can't claim to be as eloquent of a writer as Jenny nor with the creativity and insight she had, but I will do my best. Though Sasha will be the center point of the blog, the goal and theme I want to resonate with every entry is how faithful our God is and how deserving He is of the praise we offer Him. There will be more to come.

Camel

Today we visited a wildlife park near our home with family. In spite of the heat we had a really nice time and Sasha enjoyed the animals. She got to feed the giraffe, turtles, birds and bunnies. However the thing that she is still talking about is her new found favorite animal: the camel. Her and papa were able to take a camel ride together and she had a blast. One thing we love about her spirit is her willingness to try new things. She definitely has an adventurous side and is a risk taker. We were able to find a small camel figurine at the gift shop so she has a souvenir of her first animal ride. She has played with her camel a lot and then played camel with her papa and Buddy (Gpa Bauer). We went over to Uncle Zach's and Aunt Michelle's house for a BBQ this evening and she was still talking about Sasha and the camel. I think we can safely put this animal right up there with the monkey, zebra and bear!

In The Kitchen

This week Sasha got to help out in the kitchen. She did a wonderful job helping mama make the pudding we were going to eat for dessert. She emptied contents into the bowl, mixed them and help spoon them into the serving dishes. The part I think she enjoyed the most was after dinner when we went and got them from the refrigerator. She proudly carried them over and placed them on the table and with a big grin on her face said "yummy". Later in the week mama and Sasha experienced making cookies together. She did a great job placing the cookie dough on the sheet and then enjoyed watching them bake in the oven. She kept checking through the window on the oven and when the buzzer went off she was excited. For snack we asked her what she would like and her response was cookies, Sasha. It was clear she was pleased with her creation. It seems we are going to have a little cook on our hands.

Piano fun

One of the things Sasha really enjoys is music. She loves dancing to just about any tune she hears whether on TV or radio. Just recently we've noticed her efforts to sing along to her favorite songs which include Old McDonald, Ten Little Monkies and Apples and Bananas. Tonight she was entertaining us with her music ability as she played on the piano. Hope you enjoy her spirit as much as we did listening and "spying" from the other room!

Two Month Update

I can't believe that it has been two months since we officially made Sasha a part of the family. Looking back it seems like our time in Russia was so long ago rather than only a number of weeks. Sasha has changed so much which also makes it almost impossible to believe that she's only been with us for nine weeks now. I guess that is a good sign that things are starting to become more routine and comfortable at home.

We are able to communicate with her so much better now which greatly reduces the fits and tantrums making for days that are much more pleasant. During our first trip to the baby home we learned that Sasha likes to understand why and just telling her no doesn't go over so well. Of course you need to understand the language in order to understand an explanation. In the past week or two she has pretty much quit using the last little bit of Russian that she knew. Instead of answering "da" she now answers "ya" or "yeah". While we were so anxious for her to learn English I think I'm almost a little sad that she's completely lost the Russian language. I'm sure if she ever wants to, she'll be able to pick it back up very quickly.

This week was a big one for Sasha, she had an MRI done. The doctors here don't agree with the diagnosis that the doctors in Russia made in regards to her left eye. Originally she was diagnosed with Micropthalmia which is simply a little eye. However when our optometrist examined her he found her eyesight to be very good and the overall health of her eye to be completely normal. In fact when he dilated her eyes they were both the same size rather than having one that was smaller. This raised the question of whether her eye is in deed the problem or just a symptom of something else.

The best way to answer this question was to have a scan done of her upper body. She did remarkably well and we were really encouraged by how she handled everything that day. We actually noticed some things that indicate her trust and attachment with us is progressing quite well. She wasn't completely out during the scan rather they did a conscious sedation. However because they were taking pictures of her brain, neck, chest and abdomen the scan took around 2 hours which required a pretty high dosage of the medication used to induce her sleepiness. As a result it was like we had a 2 year old drunk living with us the rest of the night. While kind of funny at times she was pretty frustrated and mad when her legs wouldn't stay under her. Thankfully when morning came around she was back to normal and just pleased to have a new stuffed puppy to play with.

The doctors expect to find that her eye is a symptom of something else but that doesn't necessarily mean anything will change. In fact from a vision stand point my understanding is that this could be an even better outcome for her. Currently her vision is not affected by her eye condition at all which is strange because with the Micropthalmia one would expect her to have eyesight problems and need glasses at a young age. I think the general expectation from the MRI is that they will find her condition occurred as a result of a traumatic birth or it is genetic. From the new information we can determine if a treatment is available for her eye or if it's even necessary.

I find it fascinating how we can use technology to look at her body and hopefully fill in the gaps regarding her medical history. We know nothing about her medical history prior to her arrival at the baby home. However, through technology we have an opportunity to get a road map that may provide direction and guidance as we continue on her life journey.

July 4th

This weekend we celebrated the fourth of July with our little sweet pea. Ironically this past Thursday we got her official certificate of citizenship in the mail, too. We tried to have her in bed before the neighborhood lit up but that was a never ending battle. As soon as the rain let up in the afternoon the noise began and continued to escalate well into the night. Around 9:00 we took her outside to watch and see what all the noise was about. We find that she responds better to things if you explain why. After that she was able to cuddle down in her mama's and papa's bed for a good night's sleep.

The fourth was Sasha's third Sunday going to church. She likes the praise and worship time and enjoys "dancing" to the music. She also thinks it's fun how people randomly look at her and waive. She's very eager to return the wave but I wonder if she thinks church is a place where everyone goes to worship her instead of God!

We've also been spending time at the local zoo. Sasha just loves the animals and has become a talking machine whenever she has an opportunity to tell someone about them or the sounds they make. Her favorite remains the monkey but she also likes talking about the bear that roars. Her aunt brought her a stuffed monkey which she's either cuddling with or trying to keep away from Dudley. Her bed is quickly becoming a "zoo" filled with her favorite stuffed toys!

Sasha's vocabulary grows by the day. We have graduated from single words to multiples and some phrases. You never know what's going to come out of her mouth from day to day. Her favorite pass time is reading books. She likes to sit down and "read" them herself but then finds us to begin the tour through her book collection. She's graduated from the single word picture books which were so interesting to her just four short weeks ago. Now she wants to hear the whole story page by page and word by word. Her favorite ones are little Christian books about God's love AND Curious George (of course)!

Included is a slide show of some pictures Matt took of her on this 4th of July. Enjoy our sweet pea and her beautiful grin, smirk, smile and attitude!

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Choices

Last Wednesday was a really tough day. From the time Sasha woke up to the time she finally fell asleep things just weren't fun for her. She paced the house most of the day not content with any toy or game or anything else we tried. As she had to do at the baby home to be noticed, she tends to act out seeking negative attention. This was her approach to everything that day. By the time Matt got home I was in desperate need of a break. As I tried to separate myself from the day and refocus I found myself asking why: why did we choose to do this and why did we give up the the lifestyle we had before?

As if someone sitting next to me blurted it out, the answer came back loud and clear. We did not choose to change our life. We chose to be obedient to what God was calling us to do. God never promised an easy life to those who serve Him. We are going to have challenges and obstacles to overcome as a result of our obedience. More than likely the challenges will be even greater as God continues to work in our life which often takes us outside of our comfort zone.

With each passing day as parents of a two year old we see our comfort zone fade further and further into the distance. Nothing about life these days is comfortable for us. Thankfully we have friends and family to share our frustrations with and be encouraged by. Then there are those moments when we look at Sasha and are so thankful God has brought her to us.

I started thinking about all those we know called to serve as missionaries in far away places. No question their decision of obedience is also life changing. After spending three weeks in a foreign country I have a much greater appreciation for the choice these friends have made. Whether we are influencing the lives of many or the life of one little girl, God will remain faithful to those who are called according to His purpose.

One month update

It was one month ago yesterday that Sasha officially became a member of our family. I can’t believe it’s been a month already although each day it gets a little harder to remember life without her. She’s come a long way in a months time. We continue to shelter her some by not taking her many places and not having a lot of new people over. This has really helped her connect with us and learn who family is which is so important. She’s never had different levels of people in her life. One caregiver is no different from another so establishing the significance of parents and family is a strange idea to her. This past weekend she got to webcam with her cousins on the west coast for the first time. We kept it short and she did really well with them. We’ve been looking at pictures and video of family so that has helped the introductions to be less overwhelming as well.

With each week that goes by she feels a little more comfortable and something that was previously off limits becomes okay. For example up to now I would randomly rub her back or head and she would immediately move away from me. However this week when I did it she liked it and wanted me to do it again. I even was able to use this touch to calm and relax her at bedtime one night this week. She apparently is ready to open herself up just a little more. This kind of touching is great for bonding so what a blessing that she is willing to allow a little more skin to skin touch. Her ability to hold eye contact with us gets better and longer all the time as well. We have some games and play time things that we do to try and increase this since it is also an important factor in her attachment process.

Today we visited the zoo and all she’s talked about since are the monkeys. We only saw a few things and stayed a short time but it still proved to be quite stimulating for her. Even good stimulation which makes her happy is tough because she doesn’t know how to handle it. Her instincts are to use the same survival skills that served her well at the baby home. So, bed time and nap time proved to be a little bit of a challenge today. At least we are learning more and more about how she responds to things so we were prepared to handle it tonight.

While at the zoo a friend, Anna, picked up on something interesting that we hadn‘t even noticed. In Russia they point at something or gesture using their entire hand and this is how Sasha addressed things when Anna first met her a week or so ago. Today Anna noticed right away that Sasha would point at something using her finger. I find this interesting because we can verbally hear how she’s learning English but something like this is an automatic response. Knowing that some of her automatic responses are beginning to make the transition from Russian culture to American culture definitely shows how well and how quickly she is adjusting to her new environment. In addition, over the past week or two she has really taken an interest in her books. Several times a day she’ll bring a book out and want to sit and read. We then proceed to read through every book in her room!

Something else that’s kind of interesting has taken place at dinner time. We always sit down and eat dinner together at the table and we always say grace before we eat. Matt and I always hold hands and we place our other hand on the table next to Sasha. Just this past week she has begun taking our hands and holding them during prayer time. Each day she holds on just a little longer and tonight when we finished she actually copied us and said Amen!

So in a months time here is a highlights list of Sasha's firsts:
1. Her first English word (bye bye which is the only word she knew on our first visit)
2. First bath in an actual bathtub
3. First airplane ride
4. First visit to Red Square
5. Befriended two rather large dogs
6. First time in a big swimming pool
7. First time using the webcam
8. First bubble bath
9. First trip to the zoo
10. First time having her own room and her own toys
11. First time having her toenails painted
12. Probably the first time she’s been actually tucked into bed.
13. First time having a mama and papa who love her!

Even though we started life with her at two, we sure don’t feel like we have missed out on to many firsts. A lot of the first time things come because a parent has been there to love, nurture and guide their child. Sasha never had that so it makes sense we get to experience a lot of firsts with her.

Sasha at the zoo!

Today Sasha visited the zoo for the first time. We have an awesome zoo here that you can easily spend an entire day admiring. We only looked at a couple exhibits today which took well over an hour because Sasha loved the animals. This was basically her first big outing since we've been home and she did really well. We went with a friend that has been over to play once prior to this. She interacted very well today with Aiden and his mama which is a really good sign as well. I suspect we'll be making many more visits to the zoo!

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Play-doh

Today we got out the play-doh and Sasha really enjoyed it. I wasn't sure if this was something she would know or not and a little hesitant to introduce it to her. She's gained a good understanding of English already but I envisioned a tantrum when she couldn't eat it. To my surprise she accepted that restriction after only one try and continued to play with it very well. She even helped sweep up the remnants left on the kitchen floor when it was time to put it away. When it comes to housework she's very helpful!

We also got out the coloring books today and she enjoyed "coloring". Her word of the day is crayon. We repeated the word over and over and over as we played with the crayons and identified their colors. It's fun to listen to her when she grasps a new word. On Sunday her word was pillow which she continues to use a lot and enjoys locating the pillows in various areas of the house. We've also worked on shapes and her favorite is the circle. She can find a circle just about anywhere and is fascinated by the word. The other thing that has really captured her attention is the see and say. I think she knows every animal on it and their sounds. Interestingly, she's able to take what she's learned from the toy and transfer it to real animals or books with great accuracy.

We continue to bond with her and see some good signs that she's bonding with us. Of course we have our challenges and setbacks as well. It's hard to discern what things are significant issues pertaining to adoption and what is just typical two year old behavior. As much as she jabbers I don't know if I should even say it but I will. I look forward to the day when she can begin expressing her feelings verbally. Although she may never stop talking once she starts, it will be reassuring to have a better idea of what's motivating her.

Citizenship

Today I was reading in Ephesians chapter 2 and verses 19-22 really stuck out to me. “So now you Gentiles are no longer strangers and foreigners. You are citizens along with all of God’s holy people. You are members of God’s family….” I’ve read this verse several times before but today it has new meaning. As I read it I recalled the moment when we got off the plane with Sasha and waited in the line at customs. We were so tired yet so anxious to walk up to that window with her papers in hand. We were proud of our country and that Sasha was about to become a U.S. Citizen. For us this was one of the most celebrated moments in the process of bringing her home. Court, getting her birth and adoption certificates, picking her up at the baby home, getting her packet at the embassy; those were all memorable and important moments but we did not experience the same sense of pride and joy as we did watching her Russian visa get “THE STAMP”. As I recall those fond memories and the pride we felt at that moment I have to ask myself if God feels that way each time someone accepts Jesus and becomes a member of His family. How glorious a moment that must be in heaven.

I also think to myself how life changed for me at the moment I became a citizen of God’s kingdom. Did I really believe and understand all the opportunities that lie ahead and how different my life would be as a result? We are excited to see what opportunities Sasha will have as an American. Opportunities that would have never been possible living in an orphanage in Russia. It’s a blessing beyond words to know that our obedience to God’s leading has changed the life of one child. Sasha has a new citizenship that will forever change her life. As Christians we get that same opportunity when we become a citizen of God’s kingdom. I don’t think I completely understood the significance of this concept before Sasha’s adoption.

I’ve said before that the process of adoption changes you. I’m also finding that being a parent of an adopted child continues to change you. I feel like we now have a pair of “adoption glasses” on by which we view the world. Similar to wearing 3D glasses at a movie, details in life now stick out a little bit differently. The journey doesn't end with a stamp or a single action. Now we begin the journey of raising Sasha in a home that will once again provide her an opportunity for a new citizenship….one that will lead her to know her Heavenly father.

Big Day

Today was a big day for the Carr household. Matt returned to work after having the entire month of May off. He went to work before Sasha was awake so when she got up she didn't understand why he wasn't here. We looked at her original picture album and talked about papa going bye-bye which seemed to help. Then we got one of papa's t-shirts and she ran around with it on for awhile. That seemed to provide her with the comfort she was looking for and we had a good morning.

This afternoon was Sasha's first big outing since arriving home and it was to the doctor. We had planned this appointment to be a meet and greet which would allow the doctor to get acquainted with Sasha and to go over the information we received on Sasha's medical background. Her doctor is a female which I think helps since the associations Sasha has from the baby home are of a male doctor. Sasha did great with her appointment and to celebrate the outing we stopped at McDonalds for an ice cream cone on the way home.

The doctor was very impressed with Sasha today. She couldn't believe how well Sasha followed our instructions and at the amount of English she was speaking. She also found Sasha to be right on track. She doesn't think Sasha is delayed development wise at all and her measurements are right where they should be. Doctor had no concerns and found Sasha to be in really good health. None of this was new to us as this is what we were told by the baby home doctor and the doctor in Moscow as well. However, hearing it from our own doctor really feels good and is reassuring. We didn't realize how much doubt we had about the foreign doctors and their analysis. They are all more than qualified but when you are in a different country and in a stressful transition it's hard to trust people. What great words of encouragement we heard today from the pediatrician.

Yesterday Sasha got to experience the pool for the first time. We were pretty sure she would love it based on how much she enjoys bath time. Hard to believe that prior to two weeks ago she had never been in a tub and now she's in a swimming pool. She has the makings of a little fish based on her first impression. Good thing since we have so many hot summer days here in KS! Since we'll be spending more time at the pool I'm going to have to get another swimsuit that actually fits her. The one we picked out was way to big and not as modest as I would prefer. We are still learning her size and just when we get it figured out I'm sure she'll hit a growth spurt that will keep us guessing!

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Shoes

Tonight Sasha did something kind of interesting to me. Matt and I each have a pair of shoes that we keep next to the back door that we throw on and off as we go in and out. Tonight Sasha went and got a pair of her shoes and put them in line with ours at the back door. It was very intentional on her part and they were perfectly placed. It makes me wonder if she's beginning to feel like she belongs here and just maybe this family thing might be okay. It's hard to guess what's going on in her mind especially after everything she's been through in the past two weeks. Today we printed some pictures and I was surprised at the difference between those taken during our recent baby home visits and those taken in the past couple days. She hardly looks like the same girl. The expressions on her face and the twinkle in her eyes are noticeably absent in those first pictures. Ironically we thought those pictures we good and encouraging at the time.

This afternoon Sasha got to visit her Aunt Michelle and Uncle Zach. This was her first outing since arriving home and she did well. The reason for the visit was to experience her first swim in a big pool! She wasn't sure at first but she was definitely intrigued. By the end she was squealing and having lots of fun, although she still wouldn't completely let go of her papa. I think we'll see lots of pool time this summer given her first impression. Unfortunately the swim suit we got for her was a little big, much like everything else. You read the size information but she's so skinny that even though the weight should work, nothing stays on her waist. So, I guess we try again with something smaller. I never knew picking out a swim suit for a two year old could be so difficult. Pictures of her outing to come later once her papa gets them off of his camera! For now I'll share a couple video of her having fun with her papa and her puppies.

Update and Pics

Sasha continues to adjust to having a family life.  It seems each day we learn more about her and how she is coping and how she best responds to us.  What a learning experience this is.  While we are still trying to figure out what our new normal is going to be we are making progress.  I've included a few pictures:  (1.) The three kiddos (2) Sasha's dance move (3) Sasha and Sally (4) Sasha showing some "attitude"

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2 week anniversary

Today is our two week anniversary of getting Sasha and what an amazing two weeks it’s been. So many firsts, so many highs and some lows to go along with them. Even though it doesn’t seem possible, we’ve been home almost a week already and I think we are beginning to get into a little bit of a routine. We have a pretty good idea of what Sasha’s routine was at the baby home so we’ve tried to follow that as much as possible. Our hope is that will help Sasha’s adjustment but I think it tends to make our adjustment as parents a little more difficult. At least we are old enough to understand what’s going on and why things are different.

As I’ve mentioned before, the main purpose behind the blog is to create a journal of sorts to help us memorialize this journey to bring Sasha home. We’ve witnessed a lot of firsts with Sasha over the past two weeks and it seems each day we learn more and more about her. Here are a few of the things we’ve enjoyed learning about our little girl:

Sasha is a great eater and it’s remarkable how well she feeds herself using silverware. I have yet to use a single bib because she doesn’t make messes with her food much to Dudley‘s and Sally‘s dismay. As I’ve previously mentioned the part of Russia where Sasha is from reminds me a lot of California. There are mountains and the sea close by and there is a lot of agriculture so fresh fruit is plentiful. I’m guessing that the kids were given fruit since it was so accessible because Sasha LOVES fruit. If you give her a cookie and some fruit on a plate she will always eat the fruit first and is typically asking for more before she even touches the cookie. This is amazing since Matt and I eat a lot of fresh fruit and vegetables. It’s been easy to incorporate Sasha’s eating into our routine because in Russia they eat the same kind of foods as we do in the States. For example at the baby home she would have eaten mostly potatoes and rice, beef and chicken. We know to keep the seasoning bland and so far Sasha has proven to like her mama’s and papa’s cooking. We’ll see if this continues or if she becomes more picky as she gets used to having plenty to eat.

Now that we are back home Matt and I have enjoyed getting back on a regular exercise routine. Each morning we’ve taken Sasha and the dogs on a walk. The walks are the only outing we’ve been doing this week and Sasha really enjoys them. She gets just as excited about going as the dogs do. Today on our walk she was singing the entire time.

Last Friday while we waited in the Moscow airport to head home Sasha discovered something that she found very entertaining. Her first ride on an escalator proved to be the best amusement park ride she’s ever been on. To pass the time and keep her busy Matt took her on the escalator over and over and over and over….. Some time if you are curious ask Matt how many times you can go up and down an escalator in an hour and he’ll probably have an answer for you. The next day when we got back to the Washington Dulles airport and she saw the escalators there she squealed with excitement. I guess we’ll be spending some time at the mall so she can “play” on her favorite “ride”. Matt has great visions of many roller coaster rides in her future.

All in all Sasha has done well at home but it just takes time. We’ve spent 18 months adopting her but she’s only had two weeks to adopt us. It’s going to take a lot of time, love, patience and wisdom as we move forward creating a connection with Sasha. A friend put it best: adoption isn’t a destination it’s a life long journey. A journey that we are blessed to be living.

Sasha at home

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Some pictures from Sasha's first couple days at home.  As you will see Dudley is never far behind her.  Sally is keeping more distance but is also doing really well with Sasha.   

Three days ago we finally arrived back in Wichita with Sasha. The trip home was long and didn’t go as planned but we made it home and all three of us survived. Things got off to a rough start after we boarded the plane in Moscow. We sat on the plane in Moscow for two hours while they fixed a mechanical problem. That turned our 10 hour flight into a 12 hour one. Overall Sasha was quite the trooper and did well. Mama and papa did well, too. We were very anxious about the flight considering how exhausted we were the week prior after a “short” two hour flight. Sasha slept for about five hours on the plane and we managed to keep her somewhat entertained the other seven. Arriving on U.S. soil was a great feeling and I think one of the best moments for us was going through customs. The young lady who processed our papers was very nice and very excited for little Sasha. She made a big deal about putting the stamp on Sasha’s passport making her a U.S. citizen. Unfortunately we were so tired that we didn’t get any pictures of her first steps on U.S. soil as a U.S. citizen.

Due to the delay in Moscow we missed our connecting flights so Sasha spent her first night as a citizen in Virginia. We knew when we finally left Moscow that we would not make our connections. By the time we landed the airline had all our connections rebooked, hotel arrangements and meal vouchers prepared. Even though we desparately wanted to be home, this delay was definitely for the best. As we flew across the world, our prayer was that God would work out the details and trusted that His plan was best. We did not want to be put in a position to make any decisions since we were so tired and had so many different emotions going through our heads. After the 12 hour flight I don’t think there’s any way the three of us could have handled our orginal flight schedule. We made it to the hotel by 8:00 pm EST and Sasha fell asleep playing on the bed by 9:00 EST. She slept all night so we all got some good rest.

Saturday started out okay but went down hill once we got to Chicago. The airline made a big mistake in our rebooking because Sasha was on a separate one way ticket and not on our round trip ticket. Matt and I had boarding passes for the noon flight to Wichita but to our surprise when we got to the termnal Sasha was shown as flying stand by. Because the flight was overbooked there was no way Sasha was getting on the flight. Long story short we ended up flying into Oklahoma City and driving the rest of the way home. Not the best circumstances but once again Sasha did well.

Thankfully, Sasha has not had any problems adjusting to the time change. She’s slept through the night every night since we left Russia. While Matt struggled a couple nights with jet lag overall we’ve gotten good rest which has helped the transition on our part. It’s amazing to see Sasha in her new home and she‘s doing remarkably well considering what she‘s been through. She’s quite the chatterbox and her English is shocking us all. I think she pronounces as many English words as she does Russian words. The question everyone’s been wondering is how she’s doing with the dogs. I’m happy to say that she LOVES her puppies. It took about half of the day on Monday to get them acquainted and the big turning point was when she got to play fetch with them. She loved that and realized that they listen and she can communicate with them, too. It’s hilarious to listen to her when one of them has done something she doesn’t approve of. She gets down right in their faces, points at them and begins scolding them in Russian babble. Dudley is never more than a step away from her and follows her everywhere. He also loves Sasha’s toys. Sally isn’t quite so sure about everything and keeps her distance a little more but still puts up with Sasha bothering her very well.

We have lots of pictures and lots of fun details/stories to share. Unfortunately it’s taken me three days to get this entry complete so they may be slow in coming. We are starting to feel caught up so hopefully I’ll have a chance to add some additional updates later in the week before Matt goes back to work on Tuesday. To help Sasha adjust and in an effort to keep her stress at a minimum we continue to limit visitors to immediate family. I know many are eager to meet her but right now our priority is helping her become comfortable with her home and learning who family are. Thank you for understanding and for your patience as we work through a very stressful tme in Sasha’s life.

Update: 05.20

Well,  today was our last day in Moscow and this will be the last update on the first chapter of Sasha's life story.  Now that Sasha's in bed we are getting our luggage packed and getting everything around so this will be a short posting.  Today was full of challenges.  Sasha was just a little pill.  You tell her "no" and she turns around, laughs and does it again.  As a result she spent a lot of time today sitting on the couch for disobeying.  We have to teach her that there's a consequence to her actions because right now everything just sounds funny to her.  So much of our challenge today is due to language barriers.  As soon as our facilitator arrived and spoke to her in Russian she immediately obeyed and sat nicely on the couch. 

Another part of our challenge today is that she's a very bright girl and she probably knows something is changing again.  We've started gathering things a little bit during her nap time and got our luggage back out which created insecurity and concern for her.  She tried really hard not to fall asleep very much like the first night we had her with us.  I'm sure lots of things are going through her head and she isn't sure what to expect.  She paced a lot all day and no toy or game was of interest to her.  She seemed very stressed and nervous.  While we've made great strides in developing a relationship with her she easily reverts back to those survival skills that she has relied on her entire life.

We are heading home bright and early in the morning.  Due to Moscow traffic and the size of the airport we are leaving the apartment at 7:00 am.  Our flight leaves at 12:30 and will last 11 hours.  Once in the U.S. we will have two additional connecting flights before arriving home after 10:00 pm.  Please keep us in your prayers as we fly across the world on our journey to bring Sasha home.  Once we are home and recover from the jetlag more pics and updates will be added.  

While our real journey is just beginning the ride so far has been life changing in many ways. Thank you to all for your interest, concern, encouragement, love and support over these past 18 months.           

Upate: 05.19

Another day in Moscow is coming to an end.  We officially celebrated Sasha's adoption tonight following in the footsteps of Samantha Carr's adoption celebration. We went to TGIFs for dinner.  It was so nice going some place where the menu and signs on the wall were in English, the music was American, the waitress even spoke English and the food was the same as it is in the states.  While it's definitely more expensive here it was worth every penny and the food was wonderful.  Sasha did really well at the restaurant, too.  It took awhile to get our food and she played nicely the entire time.   Once are meals came she enjoyed her hamburger and mashed potatoes more than I thought she would.  I think this will be a family favorite when it comes to eating out. 

 We are pleased that we were able to celebrate by doing something American so we can continue the tradition each year as we celebrate her adoption anniversary.

We also went to the park today and played for a little while in the sandbox.  Sasha enjoyed playing in the sand with her papa but then another lady and her son came.  Interestingly, as soon as she saw them Sasha stopped playing and wouldn't say a word.  She clung to Matt very closely and wasn't comfortable with the young woman who was friendly and tried to include Sasha in their play.  I think there's a lot of concern going around in her mind and she doesn't know who to trust and who might be coming to take her away again. 

Creating a known family circle is going to be a priority once we are home.  We have video and pictures of family members that we have been showing her each day.  She really loves watching the video.  This afternoon I think we watched it three times in a row.  Hopefully this will help her learn the different people who are going to be a part of her life.  It's important that she learns to differentiate between family who are safe, friends who are safe and strangers. 

Sasha did great in the car today.   She whimpered a little bit but almost as if she was humming to herself more than anything.  On the way home she even began chatting away.  The past couple days she's done very well with her afternoon nap, bedtime, bath and potty.  The other thing she's really helpful at is brushing her teeth.  Tonight I think we actually got them brushed vs me just making a mess of her face!  She's come a long way in only a few short days.  Actually we've all come a long way in only a few days.   

Update: 05.18

We made it to our appointment at the embassy today which was kind of different than what I expected and only took about half of an hour.  There were two other families there for visa appointments and we all waited together.  They called us up to the window individually and asked us to swear that the information provided was true and to review the information as it would appear on Sasha's visa.  Then we sat down and waited for the visas to be printed.  In the mean time a lady came out to talk to us about what to expect when we land in the U.S. and to answer questions.  Considering it was an embassy appointment it was much more casual than I thought it would be.  It was also interesting talking to the other two families.   Surprisingly, each family there today was adopting a girl.  Our facilitator told us that prior to the current situation between Russian and U.S. adoptions it was normal to see 10-15 families with appointments at one time.  In prior years it was up to as many as 40+ families.  Considering the large number of children needing families, it's sad that there were only three families there today. 

We left the embassy with Sasha's passport and visa in hand.  She officially is ready to return to her new home in the U.S.A.  This probably has been the most excited we've felt since we've been here.  She not only is ours but she can now go home.  For some reason we find a lot of peace and finality with today's appointment.  When we get off the plane and go through customs they will put a stamp on her passport.  This stamp officially makes Sasha a U.S. citizen.  Interestingly, she will have dual citizenship her entire life.  It's up to her once she's 18 to renounce her Russian citizenship if she so chooses.  If she ever wishes to return to Russia to visit she will need to apply for and travel on an updated Russian passport.

Up to now I would say each day has gone pretty good and we are establishing a family relationship with Sasha.  However each day this week we would start watching the clock after dinner and anxiously waited for bed time to arrive.  Today was the first day that I think I can say we actually enjoyed her.  It was fun watching her play and playing with her.  It was fun doing our typical bed time routine and watching her anticipate what comes next.  It was nice taking her to dinner and  listening to her squeal and giggle at herself in the mirror next to our table.  It's encouraging when we hear an English word come out of her mouth.  We were proud "showing her off" in a sense to the other couples at the embassy.  It was comforting to begin to anticipate her next moves.  I think with biological children the firsts come along over time and you can cherish each one.  For us today was an opportunity to cherish some of Sasha's "firsts" in a sense.  I think we actually felt like her parents today and not just some couple from the states that came to Russia to get a child.     

I must admit that the morning started off with a bit of a disaster though.  We went to the cafe for coffee and Sasha was doing great.  I had some stickers that she was playing with while Matt and I sat and enjoyed our much needed coffees.  We were just about finished when it happened.....she got moving around and knocked my coffee over.  It spilled right into my purse and of course I didn't have the zipper closed.  Needless to say we came back and I wiped down my purse as best I could but I think it will forever have the scent of caramel syrup from my latte.  I'm sure this won't be the last time we experience a moment like this either. 

   

Update: 05.17

The main event for today was Sasha's medical examination first thing this morning and of course we had to go by car. Sasha still isn't thrilled about the car but she is doing much better. Instead of a scream it's more of a wimper which includes moments of quiet and peace. I think before long she'll be much more comfortable with it and begin associating it with more happy thoughts. Anyway, she did well with the doctor (Boris), too. We weren't sure how she'd respond not knowing what kind of experiences she's had with the baby home doctor. Dr. Boris spoke good English which we really appreciated. The exam wasn't as detailed as I expected and we felt pretty comfortable with the whole thing. From the doctor's office we went to the U.S. Embassy to file paperwork for her Visa. Thankfully we just waited in the car while our facilitator went in and filed everything. Tomorrow afternoon we have our actual appointment with the embassy officials.

While we waited in the car at the embassy we had some great entertainment. The traffic in Moscow makes NYC or LA look like a nice Sunday drive. Watching all these cars move between eight lanes of traffic is crazy and then watching someone parrallel park a huge Lexus SUV in a tiny spot in front of us was very amusing. I still don't know how they made that happen without hitting the car we were in.

I would say overall the day was pretty relaxing and ordinary. We try to keep Sasha in the apartment with as little extra stimulation as possible. So far we've been able to keep a somewhat consistent bedtime routine and part of that is sitting and watching a bedtime video. Tonight after Sasha had her PJs on she went and got on the bed and set there waiting for the video to start. Apparently she's already learned the routine. The other thing we noticed today was some English that she's picked up. We asked her where mama's nose was and she pointed to my nose then we did papa's and Sasha's and she knew what we were asking. We did the same thing with ears. Another thing she does is give her mama and papa a kiss when we ask for one. The one other thing she knows how to say is Dudley. Whenever we look at photos of the dog she likes to repeat his name. She's also starting to use some common words like hi, good morning and bye bye.

We were able to get the details worked out on our tickets so we will be coming home on Friday which is a day earlier than planned. We are very excited that worked out and are already counting down the days. What a blessing that is to know we are down to only a few more days before we are home with our daughter. We've only been waiting for that day since November, 2008.

Update: 05.16

First I want to thank everyone for their reassuring comments after my post on how difficult yesterday was for us. It's good to hear that we are normal and not alone in our fears. As you all indicated some sleep and food made the world a much better place this morning. Thankfully all three of us were able to get some sleep last night which made for a much better day. We had a slow start to the day and then this afternoon did a little sight seeing and took some family pictures in Red Square. We spent the evening back at the apartment to avoid anymore stimulation for Sasha today. Unfortunately the internet connection where we are staying in Moscow is dial up and we have no way to upload pictures. So, everyone will have to wait for more pictures of our sweet Sasha and of our time in Moscow until we return home. Red Square was abosolutely, without a doubt one of the most beautiful places I've ever seen. The buildings in Moscow are either modern or centuries old and just amazing. The detail of the masonry work is fascinating and so ornate. I'm thankful we had the opportunity to see it today.

Sasha was a real trooper and I would say we all had a really good day. She still didn't like the ride in the van but it was nothing like what we experienced before. I think a few more "positive" outings and she will be a little more comfortable in the car. When she is at the apartment Sasha chatters nonstop. As soon as you take her outside she's silent. This is her way of shutting down and coping with all the stimulation. Seeing the dramatic difference in her personality confirms that we will have to be very careful about outings and having people around once we return home. Seeing this difference in her after three days is great. It shows she is bonding with us and building up trust but it also helps us know how to provide her with the best possible environment so she can adjust well.

Today we had several successes in parenting 101! The first is we figured out the whole potty thing. We left a diaper on her today but she didn't have to use it because we made it to the potty each time she needed to go! The biggest help was having a little potty chair for her to use once we got to the apartment. Apparently that's more like what they used at the baby home. We've also picked up on her cues that indicate she needs to go. Second, Matt got her to take a nap late this morning. Up to now it seems like she's been afraid to fall asleep during the day. Also, as she would go to sleep she did not want to be held. She would lie in her bed and rock herself back and forth. I'm sure this is how she put herself to bed each night at the baby home. Today we noticed a big change in that behavior. Matt was able to pace the room, in a sense rock her until she relaxed and fell asleep. This was how her nap came about but then tonight when we put her down as we had the past couple nights, she cried and didn't want to be left alone. We returned to her and Matt once again paced the room with her falling asleep on his shoulder. Third, at the baby home if Sasha fell down or bumped something she would get up and brush it off without a single tear. In an orphanage setting kids are not coddled or attended to when they are hurt. In fact often times a parent has to teach them what hurt feels like and how to properly express it. Today was the first time that Sasha came to us when she got an owie and allowed us to comfort her.

Some other new things for Sasha today included:

1. Her first happy meal from McDonalds! She loved the french fries.

2. She learned a new game with mama: ring-around-the-rosy! She was even going around the apartment a little later trying to sing the melody and we clearly heard the all fall down part!

3. Not only does she like her mama's shoes, she also likes mama's socks. Tonight she put on a pair of my socks and had them pulled all the way up like a pair of tights. Too cute!

4. We continue to play peek-a-bo games with her and she does well making good eye contact with us during these times.

I know we have a lot of challenges lying ahead of us but we are encouraged by the steps we've made in bonding with Sasha during our visits and after these first few days with her. Maybe we are just being naive and overly hopeful but it definitely boosts our confidence that we are at least doing some things right.

Update: 05.15

Well, Sasha slept through the night and was up at her normal time of 6:00am. Unfortunately we were all three sleeping in one bed so not all of us feel as rested as little miss Sasha. I recall the nights when my niece would sleep with me so I was prepared for the thrashing and kicking and all the movement but Matt wasn't. Today was a big day for Sasha...her first plane ride. But first I must address the car ride to the airport....she hated it AGAIN. She cried as soon as she saw the car and continued crying the entire way to the airport. In her histerics she often refers to a man so our best guess is that she has some bad association with a doctor and going by car to see him. As soon as we arrived at the airport she calmed down and we were able to bet through security with no problems. Surprisingly, Sasha did very well on the plane and subsequent bus ride into the terminal. She was a little unsure of the plane at first but we kept her preoccupied during take off and landing. She did amazing with her ears which we could tell bothered her a little bit. I at least knew enough to save some juice and a snack so she could eat and drink during the descent. During the flight we had about a 10 minute time period where she got restless and bored. Based on yesterday and today it seems like she really fights falling asleep for naps. We could tell she was tired on the plane but when she was just about to fall asleep she started really acting up. Thankfully we got her calmed down for the remainder of the flight and we didn't force the nap any further. Once we landed we immediately began dreading the next step which was another car ride. To our surprise she responded quite well. We had about an hour long comute to where we are staying and she had bursts of crying but nothing like we experienced with our driver in Krasnodar. I'm wondering if it has something to do with the type?/color?/size? of the car. In Moscow our driver has a van and she didn't freak out at the sight of it at all. Once we arrived at the apartment where we are staying Sasha immediately began to make herself at home and was chatting up a storm. I know I mentioned it yesterday but she is quite the little chatterbox.

So Sasha did well today but I must be honest and say that her mama and papa didn't fair so well. We didn't get lunch before we left for the airport so we were both tired and hungry by the time we landed in Moscow. Both of us really struggled today and I must admit we both had some feelings of regret. We absolutely adore Sasha but today we were very overwhelmed and missing the freedom we had when it was only the two of us. Once at the apartment where we are staying we both had a melt down. I honestly think homesickness is the motivating factor but when you're tired and hungry everything is just that much more difficult. We are trying to learn how to parent our first child and to make it even more difficult we are in a country where we can't communicate with anyone. Today was really hard but the best part of it is that Matt and I were both feeling the same way and were able to share those feelings with each other. Just one more time where we allowed ourselves to be vulnerable and communicate in a way that doesn't come easy for us. Sasha is great and we grow closer to her each day. We desperately want to be home with her so we can begin to find our new normal.

Tonight we figured out Sasha's bed time routine a little bit more and she fell asleep without any kind of struggle. Now we are off to bed and thankfully at the apartment Sasha has her own bed to sleep in. Tomorrow should be a much better day for us. We plan on going to Red Square and doing some sight seeing so we are looking forward to that. Good night from Moscow!

Update: 05.14

Today started early for us. We left the hotel at 5:00am to go pick up Sasha. When we arrived she was having breakfast so once that was finished they brought her to us. We changed her into the clothes we brought and then we were able to go see the area where she plays and take some pictures of that space before leaving. She wasn’t happy about getting into the car and she cried for the first twenty minutes. But from that point on she did amazing. I don’t know any two year old that can spend four hours in the car much less a child that has never been in a car to speak of. Of course about 15 minutes away from the hotel she fell asleep. That was just enough time to mess up her normal nap routine. So we went to the café around the corner and got some lunch. All in all the day was great. There were a lot of wonderful moments today and right now we are still taking them all in. For our first day as parents we managed to feed her, bathe her and we got her to sleep at her normal bed time so I think that makes for a pretty good day. Now how long she sleeps may be another story. She speaks a lot, not that we can understand much of it. Now that she’s away from the baby home I’m surprised by how verbal she is. She proudly takes our hand everywhere we go and definitely knows who her mama and papa are. Bed time was a challenge. She was overtired since nap time was shortened by the car ride, she’s in a strange place and she’s overwhelmed with the new toys in the room. As tired as she was, she really fought going to sleep. After a slight power struggle between Sasha and mama, she calmed down and I was able to get her to fall asleep. Now we are praying that we all get some sleep tonight. The best news of the day is that we have in our hands her passport and tickets to Moscow!!! We leave for Moscow tomorrow which is earlier than originally expected. We should know by the end of the weekend when we will be flying home for sure but there’s a chance we could get home Friday instead of Saturday.

Still so many things running through my mind about today and I’m not sure how to really sort them out. So for now I’ll share some other random comments, praises and thoughts from today but in no real order:

1. Praise - When we left the baby home they gave us the photo album that we left with her on our first trip. It appears the caregivers kept it for her and looked at it with her.

2. Praise - We got her passport today which means we can head to Moscow now instead of waiting until Monday.

3. Sasha is wearing 2T bottoms and 3T tops. The first little skirt I put on her was a size 3T and it fell right off of her. Thankfully I took a smaller pair of pants along! She’s a skinny little thing with no belly to hold anything up!

4. She loves my shoes and my socks! I don’t think we were in our hotel room more than 10 minutes and she was putting on my shoes! Sasha is very good at dressing herself, too. She makes it easy on us which is nice since we need a learning curve.

5. One of her favorite toys is a play cell phone. She loves “talking” on it!!

6. At the café a gentleman commented that we have a beautiful daughter. That piece of encouragement came at just the right time.

7. We are still amazed that we have a daughter. Other couples continue to wait a long time for the referral of a girl. Just this week we got an e-mail from our agency that stated families could only be considered for the Russian program if they want a boy of any age or a girl older than 5 years of age.

Oh, and did I mention we are leaving for Moscow in the morning!!!!! That is a specific answer to prayer this week. Yesterday we were told there was probably a 70% chance this could happen. Today it’s a 100% guarantee. Please pray for us and Sasha as we prepare to travel to Moscow. I’m sure the airplane ride will be a real challenge for her not to mention we aren’t used to traveling with a 2 year old!

Update: 05.13

We originally thought we would be able to get Sasha’s court documents sealed this morning and then pick her up today. However, we had to wait until later in the day to get the documents officially sealed. Due to the current circumstances regarding U.S. and Russian adoptions, the court was very specific about when they would stamp/seal the documents. In the past it was common to basically post date them or seal them a day early but not anymore. Unfortunately that did not leave us enough time to get to Armavir to pick up Sasha today. Instead we will travel to Armavir very early in the morning to pick her up so that we can return to Krasnodar by mid-morning to get the papers filed for her passport. We are praying that her passport will still be ready by the end of the day tomorrow so we can fly to Moscow over the weekend. If it isn’t ready then we will spend the weekend in Krasnodar and pick it up on Monday and head to the airport.

At 4:10pm Russian time the documents were sealed and we officially and legally became Sasha’s parents! Our facilitator came by the hotel around 5:00 to show us the documents and congratulate us. Officially her “gottcha day” will be May 14th. We have had some great authentic food here in Russia, but today we celebrated with dinner at Subway!!! It was truly one of the best meals we have had since leaving the states. I think mostly because it was familiar and reminded us of home. Next we went and bought Sasha a little hat. In Russia all little kids keep their heads covered. You will notice that in all her outdoor pictures Sasha is wearing some kind of hat.

While we were somewhat disappointed today when we learned we couldn’t go get her, we are also very thankful and rejoicing that she is legally our daughter now. Considering all that could have happened given the current situation if the only delay we have is in picking her up we consider ourselves very fortunate. I don’t think we will ever know what transpired so that we could finish Sasha’s adoption at this time. We have learned some details since we’ve been here and are praising God for the favor he has provided to us, our facilitator and through our agency. CWA has a good reputation with the Russian officials and our facilitator has been working with adoptions for a long time. She knows a lot of people and isn’t afraid to push her own agenda at times. She has a great deal of mutual respect with the officials and definitely knows when to push and when to accept the answer she’s given. We’ve seen her do a lot of great things on our behalf and are so appreciative of the extra mile she’s gone to bring Sasha home.

We now know that our court date was cancelled the week before we came. Our facilitator worked diligently and exhausted all her resources to get the courts to keep the date we were given and hear our case. It was unbelievable that we ended up having our hearing and that there were no further delays or problems with the courts. We were prepared for them to make additional requests for information or something just so they would have a reason to postpone and in effect cancel it. That never happened and our court hearing went very smooth. Our facilitator has since learned that no other court hearings have been held in the region and there aren’t any scheduled. Currently they are all being postponed with no time estimate given. In addition, the judge originally assigned to our case was switched the morning of our hearing and we ended up with a judge that had worked with our facilitator previously. The prosecutor and judge went through our home study thoroughly and asked us very specific questions. We are so thankful that our home study provider did a great job with that and nothing he wrote could be disputed. Our facilitator said she had never seen them refer to the home study so much. A lot of prayers have been answered throughout our adoption journey and we continue to see God’s hand leading and guiding us and going before us.

Today we find it amazing that there was a judge in Krasnodar that was willing to put her job on the line (her exact words) and award us the adoption during a time of such uncertainty. She then followed through with everything by sealing our documents today. As excited as we are about this it also makes me a little sad. There’s a little guy in Guatemala who belongs in our extended family, too. Yet he continues to live in an orphanage because there hasn’t been a judge willing to sign off on his papers and take responsibility for his case. We continue to pray for Vanny and that his paperwork will move through the right hands and God’s faithfulness will once again be obvious to all.

Update: 05.12

Well, tomorrow is the day we've been long awaiting.  We child proofed our hotel room tonight and spent the morning at the store getting things Sasha will need.  I'm not sure what to expect so I thought I would go ahead and post some pictures of our journey for everyone to enjoy just in case internet is not an option tomorrow once we are back at the hotel.  Thank you for the continued prayers and support for our family. 

A digital scrapbooking design by Smilebox

Update: 05.11

We took our next to last road trip to Armavir today to visit Sasha. I must say that the ride home was kind of sobering knowing that the next time we make this drive she will be with us. Trying to picture her in the car with us and wondering how she will handle the car ride were things we were all processing on our way out of town today. The reality of this long journey becomes more evident with each day that goes by. I would be mistaken to say that this is just a great, joyful day for us when actually there are a lot of confusing emotions swirling around in our heads and hearts. At times we almost feel guilty. We look forward to becoming a family of five (we always include Dudley and Sally!) however there is a part of us that selfishly wants to go back to life as we knew it before. The thought of having a child depending on us is definitely as scary as it is exciting. I’ve shared this with a couple friends before and they lovingly assured me that every couple expecting their first child feels the same way. I guess whether your first child is two or a newborn, the fears and the joy are both present. I would also compare this second trip to the ninth month of pregnancy. By then the mother is ready to do whatever it takes to get the child born. After nine days in a foreign country I think we are ready to do whatever it takes so we can get our child home. I don’t think we will feel comfortable until we are in our own home around our own things and establishing a new routine.

It was rainy and cooler today both in Krasnodar and Armavir. Regardless they still had us spend our time with Sasha outside on the playground. There were a couple covered gazebo type places but keeping a two year old contained to a place like that is next to impossible. Let me add that rain equals mud and like all little ones playing outside, Sasha found the mud on more than one occasion. At one point I turned around just in time to watch her put a clump in her mouth. I’m sure many of our mommy friends are grinning at the thought of this because you’ve all experienced it before….aaaahhhhh, the joys of parenting!

All in all today was another pleasant visit with Sasha. Our facilitator has commented to us on something she has observed the last couple of visits. When other kids and caregivers come around, it seems as if Sasha begins boasting or showing off her parents. Her actions around the others are interesting to say the least and when a caregiver refers to her mama and papa she always looks at us with a big smile on her face. Hopefully that smile continues to appear once she is outside the walls that confine her now. We look forward to many years of laughter as she experiences life and all the opportunities that lie ahead for her.