Matt & Sasha's Excellent Thanksgiving Adventure

In early October we decided as a family that we would spend Thanksgiving with Great Grandpa & Grandma Bauer at their farm in Durand, WI. This turned out to be a great decision. I knew even before we discussed going to WI for Thanksgiving I wanted Sasha not to just have met Great Grandpa and Grandma but to know them (as well as her extended family). So we decided to caravan up to WI and have a great adventure.

This was Sasha's real first road trip, at least in the US (she had a 3 hr road trip in Russia from Armavir to Krasnodar). We never had ventured far away from Sasha's new home since we arrived back in May. I really didn't know how well she would travel. Typically the trip takes about 12 hours (including stops for gas and food). The weather was not too bad for the first 6 hours or so- cool and drizzly. We made great time all the way north to Des Moines, Iowa. North of Des Moines things changed as there was ice/snow on I-35 all the way to Durand which slowed our pace greatly. The trip took 16 hours and Sasha did great! Nothing an Ipad full of Sesame Street and Curious George can't help pass the time, throw in a few dum-dum pops on top of that and you had a really content little girl.

What a fun time we had in WI as a family. Sasha met lots of family. She like everyone she met though it took her most of the weekend to warm up to Great Grandpa as he accidentally scared her on the first night. Nothing a little ice cream and playing tea couldn't fix. We played in what little snow there was. We sledded and road motorcycles, played with our cousins, ate, slept and had a great old time.

This was the first big holiday that we had since Jenny passed away. None of us knew what to expect, but with lots of prayer and family talking time we made it through stronger and with some much needed healing taking place. The week before and the week after were the worse times for me, but the actual week of Thanksgiving, though I missed Jenny greatly (I even caught a glimpse out of the corner of my eye of a cousin sitting in a chair and her profile looked just like Jenny which took me back for a second), was very enjoyable. It was a good first holiday for our family. Sasha made lots of memories and had a great time bonding with her Papa.

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If Two is Company Then Eight is Just Plain Fun

Over the halloween weekend my brother Rob and his family came to visit us from Reno. He and his wife Amy have four kids came for a long weekend in Wichita. The last time they were here in July of 2001 it was 100+ with high humidity. This time it was actually pleasant for most of the weekend. This was the first time Sasha Met Amy, Jeff, Kayla, Nathan, and Samantha. She had met Rob when he came out for the service in September. With their six and our two, well...we will just say it is a full house and a very fun time.

We had a great weekend together. All the kids enjoyed playing and getting to know each other. We went to the zoo and had a family dinner at Zach and Michelle's. Our gang along with the Zimmermans went to Chuck E Cheese to "celebrate" halloween. Neither of our families trick-or-treat and really don't care for the the day. Going to Chuck E Cheese gives our families an alternative. The last time I went to Chuck E Cheese was the day I proposed top Jenny (no I did not propose to her there...). We took the Nephews and Nieces on my side of the family there for lunch before heading up to the Mt. Shasta where I proposed to her.

One of the things I find the hardest to deal with is the fact that everywhere I turn, everything I do I think of Jenny and the memories we had together. We shared everything together, even Chuck E Cheese... I am so thankful we had a great marriage and great time together with lots of fun memories, but that too is a double edged sword. One I am willing to deal with, and by far beats the alternative.

A New Normal

A lot has happened since Jenny's last blog post in August. After we lost Jenny I did not know if I would be able to keep the blog up to date. The more I have thought about it, the more I believe this blog is very important not only to Sasha, but to those who have followed us as we walked our adoption journey. This journey was more about our family being obedient to God's calling on our life than it was to bring a child to our family. When Jenny passed away, that journey didn't end. Sure, Sasha is 100% a Carr and that chapter of this book has been written, however there are more chapters to write. We are still called daily to be obedient to the calling God has on our lives; it is now just easier for Jenny.

I have always viewed this blog as a way to share with those interested where we were in the process of bringing home the child God had picked out for us. As I re-read many of Jenny's posts, it is apparent that the goal in Jenny's writing was to document and proclaim the faithfulness of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ not only for those who happened to read the blog but also for Sasha. During our adoption process, God moved many mountains, won major victories against insurmountable enemies, and parted many Red Seas (most of which were filled with red tape). It was those victories my family and myself clung to with all our hearts as reminders of God's faithfulness as we started the long, dark and painful walk of life without Jenny. Why did Jenny have to leave us so soon? We may never fully know, but one thing I am sure of is that God is still good and He is still faithful and worthy of praise.

As I go forward, I will do my best to keep the blog posts coming. For Sasha has already had many firsts since Jenny's passing. I can't claim to be as eloquent of a writer as Jenny nor with the creativity and insight she had, but I will do my best. Though Sasha will be the center point of the blog, the goal and theme I want to resonate with every entry is how faithful our God is and how deserving He is of the praise we offer Him. There will be more to come.