Oh Happy Days

It was one year ago today (3/17) that Jenny and I first set our eyes on Alexandra Sasha Carr at a baby home in Armavir. Our first trip to Russia was an adventure before we even left the US. Due to some freak weather in New York our flight over on the Russian's subsidized airliner took over 2 days in transit (not counting the time zone change). We left on an early Saturday morning out of Wichita and arrived in Krasnodar, Russia around 9 PM on the following Monday. On Tuesday the 16th, we had a meeting with the Ministry of Education official to formalize our desire to meet Sasha. Early (5am) on March 17 we climbed into a van and made the long, bumpy three hour trip to Armavir. We met with the baby home Dr to go over Sasha's medical history. After what seemed to be an endless meeting it was finally time-time to meet the girl God had set aside for us to adopt. I will never forget the very first time I saw Sasha. There wasn't a whole lot to see... after all it was winter and the Russians know how to bundle up kids. If one layer is good, 2 layers is better, and 6 layers is best! All we could see is a little round face peering up at us with two of the most beautiful eyes one could ever want. I have always wondered if love at first site is possible, that day answered the question withclarity - YES!

Looking back a year later, a lot has happened. We made another trip back to Russia to go to court and back to the US with our new daughter, we adjusted to life as first time parents living with a 2 year old, and I faced the most difficult and painful thing

I have ever experienced. One thing that is unchanging and was true a year ago and is true today and will be true tomorrow is that God is good and worthy of praise. He is a merciful, loving, caring, and a deeply Awesome God. There is not a day that goes by where I don't thank Him for the precious gift of Sasha.

Psalms 46:10 "Be still and know that I am

God;"

God bless,

Matt & Sasha

Little Miss Pizza Maker

Just a quick video I put together. Friday nights are typically our pizza night. Sasha has always "helped" to a degree, but usually gets board and finds something else to do. This night, Sasha was with me from the making of the dough to rolling it out, to sauce, and toppings. She really actually a fantastic job. I know I have already shared this on Facebook, so forgive me for the repetition, however, not everyone has a Facebook account... hard to believe but its true!

Happy Birthday to Me

Ok, I have slacked off a bit and am now a couple entries behind. Non-the-less I can’t believe my little girl has turned 3! On Friday the 28^th of January Alexandra Sasha turned 3 years old. Sasha has had some recent birthday experiences (with her cousin Aaron’s birthday in September, Caitlin’s b-day in November, Papa’s birthday in December, Jesus’ birthday in December, and then Michael’s birthday 3 days before Sasha’s big day) and she was geared and ready to go by party time.

We wanted to make this a special birthday for Sasha as it was probably the first birthday she has ever celebrated, they typically don’t have the resources to celebrate in the orphanages. Thursday night after Sasha went to bed, Grams came over with a car load (and I mean a car load) of helium filled balloons.

We put up balloons, streamers, table decorations, and about everything else you can imagine to give little Sasha a very Curious (George) birthday. The next morning when she woke up she was very excited to see all the decorations. She went from sleepy, groggy, slumber-like trance to a toddler auctioneer in about 2 seconds.

That day Papa came home from work at 11am and took Sasha to the park....yes the park. It was 70 degrees on her birthday, maybe a little present from above (granted the following week was 18 below). We played at the park and then had a gourmet meal at Sasha's favorite 4 star restaurant... McDonalds.

That night we have a few close friends over to help us celebrate this big event. Sasha and the other’s had a fantastic time with pizza, cake, presents, and much much playing. All in all it was a fun and successful night.

Christmas 2010

We left for California on December 22. Sasha was excited to go on a "big" airplane. It wasn't her first flight obviously as we didn't swim, home from Russia, but it was her first since being back. The flights went great and Sasha is a fantastic world traveler. She had many people smiling when she saw Santa in the Wichita airport. She squealed with excitement "NOAH!!!!!". Noah looked at me weired and I just asked him to humor me... Sasha loves flying. We had a 4 hour layover in Denver and blew through the nap window with no nap. I knew it would be a long rest of the journey. As the flight attendant closed the door in Denver I got her blanket and little pillow out and told her to lay down on my lap. As we waited to taxi out for takeoff I gently rubbed her head and before we took off she was fast asleep. She slept the remainder of the 2 hour flight. What a blessing for her and for papa! We arrived into SFO, waited our 2 hours out there and then boarded an Embraer turboprop. Sasha wasn't all that thrilled with all the extra noise and vibration a turboprop brings in flight. We landed in Redding around 11pm and made our small car ride to grandma's house. Grandma and Sasha spent some time reading the Christmas story and then it was off to bed.


The next day we went to meet Aunt Shelley and Sasha's cousins Luke and London for the first time. We met at In and Out Burger and had a fantastic lunch. After lunch we all went to the park and played. It was suppose to rain most of the week we were in CA so this was our one chance to get her outdoors and get her some good exercise. She loved the park. We played on the swing, the slide, the balance beam, and the wood bridge. That evening her cousins from Reno came and stayed with us at grandma's house. All the cousins played and played. Sasha and her closest in age cousin Samantha love playing and being creative together. One of Grandma's reindeer must have been really dirty as Sasha and Samantha got the box of baby wipes out and used every single one of them to clean the reindeer. I walked into our bedroom to see a pile of white wipes covering the reindeer. Needless to say the reindeer was now clean.

Christmas Eve day was a lot of fun. Sasha and Samantha colored Grinch aprons so we could make cookies later that day. We then went into aunt Shelley's for play, making cookies, dinner, and then on to the Christmas Eve service. The kids had a blast making and decorating cookies. Sasha had a blast eating the sugar cookie dough. We ate an early dinner / late lunch (which was fantastic Shawn!) and then cuddled up on the couch to watch a Christmas Veggietales movie. Papa and Sasha both fell a sleep and caught a quick nap. We then got Sasha dressed for cousin pictures and then off to the service at the old Cascade Theater.

Up to this point I had thoroughly enjoyed our time and for the most part it was completely joyous. It is always something about church that God seems to continue the healing process of loosing Jenny. As soon as the service started I had a really hard time as all I could think about is that Jenny should be with us. At one point when Sasha was sitting on my lap I looked over to my left and saw an empty seat and just thought to myself this isn't right. Throughout the service I continued to process, cry, pray, and morn the loss of my beautiful wife. God very gentley and firmly reminded me that all our time in this world is finite, and that He has a plan and His plans, thoughts, and ways are much higher than we can even imagine. He, as so many times in the past, whispered to me to just trust Him. God is the God of comfort and he met me and comforted me at the Cascade theater that night. He again reminded me that He, who is all knowing and sovereign, choose to send His Son into the world to die so I could one day live with Him.

After the Christmas Eve service we went back to grandma's house to open gifts. Sasha received many cool toys. She also received a beautiful Russian Adoption doll from grandma. After gifts we put on our new PJs papa gave Sasha and get ready for bed. After all, Noah was on his way to visit Sasha for the first time!


The next morning I went in to the be "Noah come?!?!?!" I said yes he did, and he left presents for Sasha. She was a little disappointed when she went into the living room and didn't see Noah actually there. I quickly explained that Noah was now night night just like in the Christmas Classic movies we watch and she was good with that. Sasha had a great time opening her gifts. Lucky for Sasha, Noah came to Grams house also for our Christmas there on New Years Eve.

After Christmas Sasha played with her cousins until they left Sunday morning. We then had a couple lazy days with Grandma and Grandpa. On Monday I came down with something (I still say it was strep throat though the culture didn't come back positive) and went into the immediate care for some antibiotics. I was feeling good enough to travel on that Wednesday as we started our long trip home.

Sasha did absolutely awesome flying again. She is going to be papa's little traveling friend! We left Redding around 9:30 and got to San Francisco at 11:00. We had a three and a half hour layover there. We got a smoothy, ate lunch, road escalators, and played at the "kids spot". Again, we were getting into our nap time by the time we boarded the aircraft at 2:30. No longer did we get seated and I get her blanket and little pillow out was she laying down and asleep! The rest of the trip was pretty uneventful though with a 45 minute delay in Denver. We made it home, extremely tired, late that evening. All in all, a very successful trip and Christmas. Thank you to all those that have been praying for Sasha and my journey through this chapter of our lives. God's presence has been seen in His comfort and peace. Please continue to pray in the weeks and months ahead.

On New Years Eve night we had Christmas with Grahms and Buddy, Aunt Shell and Uncle Zach, Caitlin, and Michael. It was another very fun time with Sasha. She is getting the gift opening thing down pat. On New Years day we had our traditional prime rib Christmas dinner (which was fantastic!).

All in all it was a good Christmas. Jenny was greatly missed (as she always is and will be) but it was great watching Sasha experience her first Christmas with her forever family.

I will have a slide show of our Christmas put together very soon.

Getting Ready For Noah

With Thanksgiving behind us and Christmas bearing down on us we decided to get ourselves in gear and get the house decorated for the much anticipated arrival of Noah. Yes, I did say Noah, it was not an auto-correct typing error. For some reason, Sasha equates all the Santa Clauses you see with Noah. I at first was going to correct her, but decided to let it go as I am sure Noah had at least two Reindeer on his boat.

The Saturday after we got back from WI, we had a family get together at Sasha's house to decorate. We very cleverly planned to start while she was napping so that when she woke up the decor was out and we had just the tree left to decorate. Zach and myself concurred the outdoor lights. I have never really done anything with the outside before. We put up 450 LED C9 lights as well as a few other strands. The ladies worked on getting the decorations out inside the house. After Zach and I were done outside we joined the girls inside. Some of us were having a really hard time decorating without Jenny being there (ok, we all were) but when Sasha woke up from her nap and saw the ornament-bare tree in the corner with the lights on she giggled and took a deep breath and said "Sasha's tree". The pain was eased and Sash's joy became the bright spot of the day.


That night we had a ceremonial lighting of the outside lights which thrilled Sasha. We then went in and decorated the tree. Sasha thoroughly was in heaven. She stuck with us for about an hour worth of decorating. Needless to say, by the end of the day we had done a fantastic job. I am pretty sure Jenny would be proud. That night after Sasha was in bed, Caitlin came over and stayed with Sasha while Papa, Zach, Michelle, mom, and Michael spent an hour in the hot tub.


It has been a very hard and extremely weird walk through this season as one part of you is completely broken and hurting and the other part is over thrilled with the excitement and joy of watching your child experience her first Christmas (here). What you are feeling and when is neither predictable or consistent. One thing that is dependable and unchanging is God's faithfulness. He has walked with His arms around us through the "easier times" and has carried us through the difficult times. There hasn't been a day or even hour that has gone by that I haven't thought about all the unanswered questions I have left. As I ponder those questions, God gently reminds me to trust Him. He reminds me that He is God and I am not. He reminds me to just be still and know He is God. As we head into this Christmas season, we must remember that Christ was born to die so that I could one day live with Him for eternity. That is the meaning of Christmas, and I am forever grateful for that.

Matt & Sasha's Excellent Thanksgiving Adventure

In early October we decided as a family that we would spend Thanksgiving with Great Grandpa & Grandma Bauer at their farm in Durand, WI. This turned out to be a great decision. I knew even before we discussed going to WI for Thanksgiving I wanted Sasha not to just have met Great Grandpa and Grandma but to know them (as well as her extended family). So we decided to caravan up to WI and have a great adventure.

This was Sasha's real first road trip, at least in the US (she had a 3 hr road trip in Russia from Armavir to Krasnodar). We never had ventured far away from Sasha's new home since we arrived back in May. I really didn't know how well she would travel. Typically the trip takes about 12 hours (including stops for gas and food). The weather was not too bad for the first 6 hours or so- cool and drizzly. We made great time all the way north to Des Moines, Iowa. North of Des Moines things changed as there was ice/snow on I-35 all the way to Durand which slowed our pace greatly. The trip took 16 hours and Sasha did great! Nothing an Ipad full of Sesame Street and Curious George can't help pass the time, throw in a few dum-dum pops on top of that and you had a really content little girl.

What a fun time we had in WI as a family. Sasha met lots of family. She like everyone she met though it took her most of the weekend to warm up to Great Grandpa as he accidentally scared her on the first night. Nothing a little ice cream and playing tea couldn't fix. We played in what little snow there was. We sledded and road motorcycles, played with our cousins, ate, slept and had a great old time.

This was the first big holiday that we had since Jenny passed away. None of us knew what to expect, but with lots of prayer and family talking time we made it through stronger and with some much needed healing taking place. The week before and the week after were the worse times for me, but the actual week of Thanksgiving, though I missed Jenny greatly (I even caught a glimpse out of the corner of my eye of a cousin sitting in a chair and her profile looked just like Jenny which took me back for a second), was very enjoyable. It was a good first holiday for our family. Sasha made lots of memories and had a great time bonding with her Papa.

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If Two is Company Then Eight is Just Plain Fun

Over the halloween weekend my brother Rob and his family came to visit us from Reno. He and his wife Amy have four kids came for a long weekend in Wichita. The last time they were here in July of 2001 it was 100+ with high humidity. This time it was actually pleasant for most of the weekend. This was the first time Sasha Met Amy, Jeff, Kayla, Nathan, and Samantha. She had met Rob when he came out for the service in September. With their six and our two, well...we will just say it is a full house and a very fun time.

We had a great weekend together. All the kids enjoyed playing and getting to know each other. We went to the zoo and had a family dinner at Zach and Michelle's. Our gang along with the Zimmermans went to Chuck E Cheese to "celebrate" halloween. Neither of our families trick-or-treat and really don't care for the the day. Going to Chuck E Cheese gives our families an alternative. The last time I went to Chuck E Cheese was the day I proposed top Jenny (no I did not propose to her there...). We took the Nephews and Nieces on my side of the family there for lunch before heading up to the Mt. Shasta where I proposed to her.

One of the things I find the hardest to deal with is the fact that everywhere I turn, everything I do I think of Jenny and the memories we had together. We shared everything together, even Chuck E Cheese... I am so thankful we had a great marriage and great time together with lots of fun memories, but that too is a double edged sword. One I am willing to deal with, and by far beats the alternative.