Christmas 2010

We left for California on December 22. Sasha was excited to go on a "big" airplane. It wasn't her first flight obviously as we didn't swim, home from Russia, but it was her first since being back. The flights went great and Sasha is a fantastic world traveler. She had many people smiling when she saw Santa in the Wichita airport. She squealed with excitement "NOAH!!!!!". Noah looked at me weired and I just asked him to humor me... Sasha loves flying. We had a 4 hour layover in Denver and blew through the nap window with no nap. I knew it would be a long rest of the journey. As the flight attendant closed the door in Denver I got her blanket and little pillow out and told her to lay down on my lap. As we waited to taxi out for takeoff I gently rubbed her head and before we took off she was fast asleep. She slept the remainder of the 2 hour flight. What a blessing for her and for papa! We arrived into SFO, waited our 2 hours out there and then boarded an Embraer turboprop. Sasha wasn't all that thrilled with all the extra noise and vibration a turboprop brings in flight. We landed in Redding around 11pm and made our small car ride to grandma's house. Grandma and Sasha spent some time reading the Christmas story and then it was off to bed.


The next day we went to meet Aunt Shelley and Sasha's cousins Luke and London for the first time. We met at In and Out Burger and had a fantastic lunch. After lunch we all went to the park and played. It was suppose to rain most of the week we were in CA so this was our one chance to get her outdoors and get her some good exercise. She loved the park. We played on the swing, the slide, the balance beam, and the wood bridge. That evening her cousins from Reno came and stayed with us at grandma's house. All the cousins played and played. Sasha and her closest in age cousin Samantha love playing and being creative together. One of Grandma's reindeer must have been really dirty as Sasha and Samantha got the box of baby wipes out and used every single one of them to clean the reindeer. I walked into our bedroom to see a pile of white wipes covering the reindeer. Needless to say the reindeer was now clean.

Christmas Eve day was a lot of fun. Sasha and Samantha colored Grinch aprons so we could make cookies later that day. We then went into aunt Shelley's for play, making cookies, dinner, and then on to the Christmas Eve service. The kids had a blast making and decorating cookies. Sasha had a blast eating the sugar cookie dough. We ate an early dinner / late lunch (which was fantastic Shawn!) and then cuddled up on the couch to watch a Christmas Veggietales movie. Papa and Sasha both fell a sleep and caught a quick nap. We then got Sasha dressed for cousin pictures and then off to the service at the old Cascade Theater.

Up to this point I had thoroughly enjoyed our time and for the most part it was completely joyous. It is always something about church that God seems to continue the healing process of loosing Jenny. As soon as the service started I had a really hard time as all I could think about is that Jenny should be with us. At one point when Sasha was sitting on my lap I looked over to my left and saw an empty seat and just thought to myself this isn't right. Throughout the service I continued to process, cry, pray, and morn the loss of my beautiful wife. God very gentley and firmly reminded me that all our time in this world is finite, and that He has a plan and His plans, thoughts, and ways are much higher than we can even imagine. He, as so many times in the past, whispered to me to just trust Him. God is the God of comfort and he met me and comforted me at the Cascade theater that night. He again reminded me that He, who is all knowing and sovereign, choose to send His Son into the world to die so I could one day live with Him.

After the Christmas Eve service we went back to grandma's house to open gifts. Sasha received many cool toys. She also received a beautiful Russian Adoption doll from grandma. After gifts we put on our new PJs papa gave Sasha and get ready for bed. After all, Noah was on his way to visit Sasha for the first time!


The next morning I went in to the be "Noah come?!?!?!" I said yes he did, and he left presents for Sasha. She was a little disappointed when she went into the living room and didn't see Noah actually there. I quickly explained that Noah was now night night just like in the Christmas Classic movies we watch and she was good with that. Sasha had a great time opening her gifts. Lucky for Sasha, Noah came to Grams house also for our Christmas there on New Years Eve.

After Christmas Sasha played with her cousins until they left Sunday morning. We then had a couple lazy days with Grandma and Grandpa. On Monday I came down with something (I still say it was strep throat though the culture didn't come back positive) and went into the immediate care for some antibiotics. I was feeling good enough to travel on that Wednesday as we started our long trip home.

Sasha did absolutely awesome flying again. She is going to be papa's little traveling friend! We left Redding around 9:30 and got to San Francisco at 11:00. We had a three and a half hour layover there. We got a smoothy, ate lunch, road escalators, and played at the "kids spot". Again, we were getting into our nap time by the time we boarded the aircraft at 2:30. No longer did we get seated and I get her blanket and little pillow out was she laying down and asleep! The rest of the trip was pretty uneventful though with a 45 minute delay in Denver. We made it home, extremely tired, late that evening. All in all, a very successful trip and Christmas. Thank you to all those that have been praying for Sasha and my journey through this chapter of our lives. God's presence has been seen in His comfort and peace. Please continue to pray in the weeks and months ahead.

On New Years Eve night we had Christmas with Grahms and Buddy, Aunt Shell and Uncle Zach, Caitlin, and Michael. It was another very fun time with Sasha. She is getting the gift opening thing down pat. On New Years day we had our traditional prime rib Christmas dinner (which was fantastic!).

All in all it was a good Christmas. Jenny was greatly missed (as she always is and will be) but it was great watching Sasha experience her first Christmas with her forever family.

I will have a slide show of our Christmas put together very soon.

Getting Ready For Noah

With Thanksgiving behind us and Christmas bearing down on us we decided to get ourselves in gear and get the house decorated for the much anticipated arrival of Noah. Yes, I did say Noah, it was not an auto-correct typing error. For some reason, Sasha equates all the Santa Clauses you see with Noah. I at first was going to correct her, but decided to let it go as I am sure Noah had at least two Reindeer on his boat.

The Saturday after we got back from WI, we had a family get together at Sasha's house to decorate. We very cleverly planned to start while she was napping so that when she woke up the decor was out and we had just the tree left to decorate. Zach and myself concurred the outdoor lights. I have never really done anything with the outside before. We put up 450 LED C9 lights as well as a few other strands. The ladies worked on getting the decorations out inside the house. After Zach and I were done outside we joined the girls inside. Some of us were having a really hard time decorating without Jenny being there (ok, we all were) but when Sasha woke up from her nap and saw the ornament-bare tree in the corner with the lights on she giggled and took a deep breath and said "Sasha's tree". The pain was eased and Sash's joy became the bright spot of the day.


That night we had a ceremonial lighting of the outside lights which thrilled Sasha. We then went in and decorated the tree. Sasha thoroughly was in heaven. She stuck with us for about an hour worth of decorating. Needless to say, by the end of the day we had done a fantastic job. I am pretty sure Jenny would be proud. That night after Sasha was in bed, Caitlin came over and stayed with Sasha while Papa, Zach, Michelle, mom, and Michael spent an hour in the hot tub.


It has been a very hard and extremely weird walk through this season as one part of you is completely broken and hurting and the other part is over thrilled with the excitement and joy of watching your child experience her first Christmas (here). What you are feeling and when is neither predictable or consistent. One thing that is dependable and unchanging is God's faithfulness. He has walked with His arms around us through the "easier times" and has carried us through the difficult times. There hasn't been a day or even hour that has gone by that I haven't thought about all the unanswered questions I have left. As I ponder those questions, God gently reminds me to trust Him. He reminds me that He is God and I am not. He reminds me to just be still and know He is God. As we head into this Christmas season, we must remember that Christ was born to die so that I could one day live with Him for eternity. That is the meaning of Christmas, and I am forever grateful for that.