With Thanksgiving behind us and Christmas bearing down on us we decided to get ourselves in gear and get the house decorated for the much anticipated arrival of Noah. Yes, I did say Noah, it was not an auto-correct typing error. For some reason, Sasha equates all the Santa Clauses you see with Noah. I at first was going to correct her, but decided to let it go as I am sure Noah had at least two Reindeer on his boat.
The Saturday after we got back from WI, we had a family get together at Sasha's house to decorate. We very cleverly planned to start while she was napping so that when she woke up the decor was out and we had just the tree left to decorate. Zach and myself concurred the outdoor lights. I have never really done anything with the outside before. We put up 450 LED C9 lights as well as a few other strands. The ladies worked on getting the decorations out inside the house. After Zach and I were done outside we joined the girls inside. Some of us were having a really hard time decorating without Jenny being there (ok, we all were) but when Sasha woke up from her nap and saw the ornament-bare tree in the corner with the lights on she giggled and took a deep breath and said "Sasha's tree". The pain was eased and Sash's joy became the bright spot of the day.
That night we had a ceremonial lighting of the outside lights which thrilled Sasha. We then went in and decorated the tree. Sasha thoroughly was in heaven. She stuck with us for about an hour worth of decorating. Needless to say, by the end of the day we had done a fantastic job. I am pretty sure Jenny would be proud. That night after Sasha was in bed, Caitlin came over and stayed with Sasha while Papa, Zach, Michelle, mom, and Michael spent an hour in the hot tub.
It has been a very hard and extremely weird walk through this season as one part of you is completely broken and hurting and the other part is over thrilled with the excitement and joy of watching your child experience her first Christmas (here). What you are feeling and when is neither predictable or consistent. One thing that is dependable and unchanging is God's faithfulness. He has walked with His arms around us through the "easier times" and has carried us through the difficult times. There hasn't been a day or even hour that has gone by that I haven't thought about all the unanswered questions I have left. As I ponder those questions, God gently reminds me to trust Him. He reminds me that He is God and I am not. He reminds me to just be still and know He is God. As we head into this Christmas season, we must remember that Christ was born to die so that I could one day live with Him for eternity. That is the meaning of Christmas, and I am forever grateful for that.
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