We took our next to last road trip to Armavir today to visit Sasha. I must say that the ride home was kind of sobering knowing that the next time we make this drive she will be with us. Trying to picture her in the car with us and wondering how she will handle the car ride were things we were all processing on our way out of town today. The reality of this long journey becomes more evident with each day that goes by. I would be mistaken to say that this is just a great, joyful day for us when actually there are a lot of confusing emotions swirling around in our heads and hearts. At times we almost feel guilty. We look forward to becoming a family of five (we always include Dudley and Sally!) however there is a part of us that selfishly wants to go back to life as we knew it before. The thought of having a child depending on us is definitely as scary as it is exciting. I’ve shared this with a couple friends before and they lovingly assured me that every couple expecting their first child feels the same way. I guess whether your first child is two or a newborn, the fears and the joy are both present. I would also compare this second trip to the ninth month of pregnancy. By then the mother is ready to do whatever it takes to get the child born. After nine days in a foreign country I think we are ready to do whatever it takes so we can get our child home. I don’t think we will feel comfortable until we are in our own home around our own things and establishing a new routine.
It was rainy and cooler today both in Krasnodar and Armavir. Regardless they still had us spend our time with Sasha outside on the playground. There were a couple covered gazebo type places but keeping a two year old contained to a place like that is next to impossible. Let me add that rain equals mud and like all little ones playing outside, Sasha found the mud on more than one occasion. At one point I turned around just in time to watch her put a clump in her mouth. I’m sure many of our mommy friends are grinning at the thought of this because you’ve all experienced it before….aaaahhhhh, the joys of parenting!
All in all today was another pleasant visit with Sasha. Our facilitator has commented to us on something she has observed the last couple of visits. When other kids and caregivers come around, it seems as if Sasha begins boasting or showing off her parents. Her actions around the others are interesting to say the least and when a caregiver refers to her mama and papa she always looks at us with a big smile on her face. Hopefully that smile continues to appear once she is outside the walls that confine her now. We look forward to many years of laughter as she experiences life and all the opportunities that lie ahead for her.
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